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Even now wearing specks she looked sexy.I went over to her and sat down on the bed.I lifted her feet onto my lap and began to massage them.“I quit my job.”She closed her book shut with a snap.“What?why?”“Maybe because I felt hollow inside for fucking my boss while I had a baby on the way. Probably because I felt guilty for being such a bad husband.Maybe it’s because I felt disgusted with myself. Maybe it’s because I hate myself for hurting the person I love most.”She was shocked by my apology into silence.I took a deep breath and began.“I’m sorry for hurting you. I don’t know how to make it….”Slap.Her distance from me was perfect to slap me hard.She slapped me again harder. She slapped me again as she began to sob. She covered her face with her hands and her hair fell over her.I continued from where I stopped with my voice thick with emotion. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you all these days. If you will have me I promise to be your side from today. I have changed. I cannot live. ‘Hmm, I wonder what my soul wants for Christmas. A new Ferrari? A Bentley? Nah, perhaps something that’s even better than that for the soul. I know, Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream. Now, that’s the ticket, that’s real soul food. The good thing about being dead and just being a soul is that I can eat as much ice cream as I want and not gain any weight, I think. I just hope that my soul has a mouth and a hand to hold the ice cream spoon.’ Forget about humans for a minute, let’s start with some animals facts. Did you know that Penguins live only in the Southern Hemisphere and not in the Northern Hemisphere. Weird. I wonder why that is. ‘Maybe they’re Rebel penguins. Get it? The south? Oh, never mind.’ Because porcupines love tree bark, a single porcupine can kill 100 trees in the winter. Gees and I thought beaver’s were bad for the environment. Except for the zoo and on TV, I’ve never seen a porcupine. ‘They’re the ones will the quills, right?’ The tip of an elephant’s trunk is.
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